Waves of Confusion Ch. 02
Keywords: Waves, Confusion, of, Ch., 02,
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When I turned on my computer and opened my email on Tuesday morning, there was a response from Jody.
Hi Julian,
I was glad to hear that you liked Psych class today. I've been looking forward to it ever since we got out of New B's. I plan to major in psychology, what about you? Have you thought about what you'd like to major in? Comparing profiles might be very interesting, indeed, since we are at two completely different ends of the spectrum of the teenage male species.
I guess since Amber collected all of our names and addresses that she'll let us know when the first study session will be. I look forward to seeing you there.
All the best,
Jody
p.s. that's quite a nice tan you've acquired this summer, as well.
Okay, well that was weird and encouraging in the same breath. Jody was trying to be nice in his email but he was also trying to be detached at the same time. Well, except for that last line anyway. I'd seen him staring at my chest yesterday in class and I knew that the light green shirt I'd had on at the time emphasized my tan, olive complexion and my greenish eyes. I didn't have any classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays this quarter, so I had pretty much decided that I was going to the beach again this morning and suddenly I wanted a companion.
I knew Jody's home phone number by heart, but not his cell (if he even had one), so I picked up my cell and dialed. After a couple of rings, an older woman, who I assumed was Jody's mom, answered and I asked for Jody, she hesitated a moment not recognizing my voice and asked who was calling. I told her my name and listened as she put down the phone and walked away. I heard her call out for Jody and tell him that I was on the phone. After what seemed like forever, I heard an extension pick up.
A shaky voice said "Hello?"
"Hey Jody, it's Julian." I suppose that I didn't expect any kind of response, but I smiled to myself as I imagined the look of pure panic on his face.
"H...h...hi Julian."
"Hey whatcha doin'?" I really hoped he didn't have a class today either, but I'd make it work whatever his schedule was like.
"Eh...nothing really, just messing around on my computer."
"Do you have any classes today?"
"Yeah, at three." He still sounded nervous.
How should I do this, direct and to the point or backhanded and subtle? "Well, you know I surf, right?"
"Eh, yeah."
"Uh...well, I was thinking about going to the beach this morning and I wondered if you wanted to come along." I automatically knew he was going to say no, but I thought I had a pretty decent retort.
"I can't surf, Julian." He said so matter-of-factly that I was beginning to doubt whether I really could convince him.
"That's okay," I said forcing a cheery lilt into my voice. "You don't have to surf. I just got this new digital camera and I wanted someone to photograph me while I'm out, so I can improve my game a bit, ya know. Whatcha think?"
"Uh...I don't know Julian."
"I was just gonna go out to Verona, it's only a ten minute drive from my place, but if you needed a ride, I could come and get you...no problem. I'd really like it if you came with my Jody."
"Well...as long as you can have me back to campus by three, I guess it'd be okay." I think he was actually smiling, or at least it sounded like it.
"Okay, well do you need me to come and get you?"
"Yeah, it's either that or I have to take the bus and I don't know which one to take to get that close to the beach, but there's a map of the stops on the net and I could go search it...if you don't want to that is, don't want to pick me up." He finally took a breath.
"Hey, don't sweat it bud, I'll be there in a little while, "k?"
I heard Jody draw in a deep breath, "Yeah, I suppose that would be best."
"Okay dude, see ya." I smiled to myself thinking how totally disarmed he must be.
"Uh, yeah...bye."
"YES! Score... my first date with Jody Larson!" I don't think I stopped smiling all the way to his house, that was until his front door opened.
***†***
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...STOP saying that you idiot. "
Julian Claymore was coming to my house. My mom was here, she'd see me with him, the way my eyes would traverse his body with hunger and longing. The way I couldn't stop looking at him, couldn't control my babbling in his presence and she'd know. She'd know my secret, my horrible secret.
I started to pick things up in my room, putting them away, and then I thought I'd better brush my teeth again, in case I had anything in my teeth. I couldn't look at him if I had anything in my teeth, but when I looked in the mirror, my mouth full of toothpaste, I saw the image that immediately deflated my excitement. There was that loser in the mirror again. Julian wasn't coming because he wanted me. He just needed some geek to take his picture, to show the world how awesome and talented he was. My self-loathing settled into my gut and hung around like a lead weight. I felt as though I had just swallowed a pound of old-fashioned cake doughnuts and my stomach felt sick enough to have done actually so.
Back in my room, I logged off my computer and packed my backpack for my three o'clock class. I threw in a tube of zinc oxide and my old gardening hat, a floppy safari-looking thing that I'm sure was in no way stylish, but I burned really easily and I knew I couldn't be on the beach for any time at all before my freckled skin would seriously resemble a lobster.
I sank down on my bed and waited for the doorbell, getting up every few minutes to peek beyond the mini-blinds from my second-story room. Although it seemed like hours, only minutes passed before Julian showed up in a beat up, black Nissan pickup, rapping at my door with an insistent tattoo. I shuffled down the stairs just in time to see my mom open the door on a glowing ray of sunshine. Julian's thousand-watt smile was grinning at me from my doorstep.
"Hi," he said looking past my mom and up the stairs at me.
"Hi," I muttered, swinging my backpack across my shoulder and looking at the floor. "Mom this is Julian, I'm gonna go to the beach with him and take some pictures of him while he surfs." I don't know if she was more surprised at my mood change this morning or at the fact that I actually had someone asking for me at the front door.
"Okay, honey," she said calmly. "Do you have your sunscreen? You know you get burned so easily."
"Yeah," came my sullen response.
"Well, have fun then." She said and I caught her giving Julian the once over as a little smile plied at her lips.
By the time I crossed the threshold and the screen door slammed behind me, Julian was all over me. His arm was around my shoulders and his voice was in my ear. "Dude, cheer up...this is gonna be awesome."
A little flicker of hope bubbled up in my gut and riled my weighty, upset stomach to a slow churn. I didn't know if he was being overly enthusiastic for my sake or if he was just an annoyingly happy person this early in the morning. We walked to his truck that was parked on the street and he unlocked the door and opened it for me, holding it as I got in. An eerie feeling crept over me once he had closed the door and I was buckling in. I suddenly felt like I was on a date and Julian Claymore was trying to seduce me, but then reality checked in once again and I came back to Earth, my sense returning with the heady memory that I was the class "geek" and he the "god."
We drove for what seemed like ages before finally getting close enough to the beach to start seeing the first signs of it; the outdoor cafés, the surf and bike shops, the cheesy souvenir places and a couple of places that sold swimming and beach apparel. We hadn't talked much on the way, just him asking me if the music was okay or if I was too warm..."warm, oh my god, I'm sweating so much, I could start my own steam bath here, but not because of the weather! "Paranoia and worry set in again as self-debasement came so easily to me.
Julian pulled the old truck into an abandoned looking parking lot, paved with asphalt, but covered in a dusting of sand. The absence of other vehicles pointed to the fact that it was the middle of the week and most people had responsibilities to attend to. After shutting the engine off, Julian swiveled his hips on the bench seat and looked at me. I could feel his eyes boring into me and tried to decide what to do. I have avoided his glances during the entire trip, spending most of my time staring into the landscape of my material-covered thighs, but now he was pointedly looking at me and I knew he wanted to ask me something or tell me something, most likely to get my head out of my ass and get out of the freakin' truck.
"Jody?" he said quietly. "Do you not want to be here?"
Wow, what a loaded question. So much of me did want to be here...close to him, as close as I could get, but the rational, reasonable part of me kept the rest of the hormone train in check. "Uh..." "GOD, what a fucking dweeb he must think I am...I can't even get a sentence out around him." "No, not really." When I'd said it, I suddenly realized that I'd just expressed that I didn't want to be there without meaning to. The look on Julian's face was staggering. The ever-present lightness that was his normal carriage and demeanor had been wiped away as if I had slapped him. "Oh, I mean, no I don't "NOT" want to be here." I stuttered out finally.
"Okay, then why do you look so unhappy? Is it something I did or said?"
My hands were resting in my lap and Julian reached out and laid his warm, tanned hand on top of mine. His touch made me wriggle in my skin. I know I shuddered visibly. He pulled back as if burned and I sought out his eyes...confusion riddled deep in the seas of amber and greenish brown where I could easily get lost. He slowly turned, pulled the keys from the ignition and opened the driver's door, stepping out onto the pavement and avoiding any more of a confrontation with me. I sat, unmoving for a moment, trying to think of a way not to screw this whole day up a million different ways, when a knocking shook me from my contemplation.
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Keywords: Waves, Confusion, of, Ch., 02,